And then comes Max in the Baby Carriage....

And then comes Max in the Baby Carriage....


So, I know many have you have been requesting a new blog entry (forever!)  and yes, as much as I wanted to post during my pregnancy, I don't think many would have wanted to read about my constant whining and complaining that would have come along with it.

Of course, I loved pregnancy and thrived through every day of it's nine month journey. Even my husband would agree, I was an absolute delight, a breath of joy in an otherwise dismal day in his life and not at all like those horrible, sobbing, exhausted pregnant women you have heard about in whispers around the Obgyn's office. He would  also say that I am 100% lying about everything I have just said and was pretty much your typical hot mess through the whole experience...but wait! There's more...

I'm not sure what I loved the most about being pregnant. In the beginning, I immediately fell in love with the food aversions which made me dry heave at the very thought of eating as if I had a tiny hair constantly tickling the back of my throat or was being forced to eat a big pile of cardboard covered in dirt.  Perhaps, my adoration for pregnancy stemmed from the constant dizziness and breathlessness, the complete lack of energy, the increasing size of my thighs, stomach, ankles, feet, face, ears, hands and toes or maybe, just maybe it was the repeated nights of vomit that took a direct flight up my esophagus into in my mouth as I slept. It's just so hard to decide what I loved about it the most.

Ok, I know what truly did love the most which is definitely bringing my little man into this world. Yes, it was all worth it (especially because the human body is designed to completely forget about all of this the minute your baby arrives).  I persevered through all of the pregnancy bullshit and brought this wonderful little miracle into this world. It does blow my mind to think this cool little guy was locally grown in one of Western Pennsylvania's most hospitable uterus's and now I get to hang out with him every day.

As time permits, I'll bring you more snippets of my life as Myself filling the roles of Max's mom, Chris's wife and of course just me being me.

_ Mandi

The Breast Journey of Life

The Breast Journey of Life

Let me start off by putting my breast foot forward and saying that all women should be proud of their breasts no matter the shape, the size, the texture or the color. As a grass-is-greener society we always want what we can't have. When it comes to breasts women want to make them bigger or smaller, less pointy, higher breasts, fuller breasts, smaller aureolas, pinker aureolas, shorter nipples or you may be one of the lucky ones who is pretty content with their breasts from the start

Starting from a very young age girls notice breasts. Whether they want them or they want to tie them down. I knew from a very young age I wanted them and would have done anything to speed up the challenge. My favorite gymnastic leotard had ruching right between my flat non-existent breasts  , just a little line of pretend cleavage that made me feel like I was womanly. At nine, still flat-chested, I insisted on wearing a training bra that looked more like a cropped t-shirt then a brassier,  but still I felt like I was a woman. Then came puberty and I waited and waited for them to come, but to no avail I was flatter then a pancake and took to wearing two bras at a time.  I was teased by boys on my lack of breast tissue development, sigh. This is when I decided extra padded bras were the way to go. Hey, no one was seeing them anyways right?  It was a hard couple of years impatiently waiting for these golden globes to show up and then they finally did. I went from a 32 AA to a 34C in six months at the age of 14. I also went up from a size 12 kids pant to a size 9 juniors in that period of time, which was awful, but thankfully, luckily, at least I had my breasts. My padding went down by two sizes that winter. 

Puberty is all about body self-awareness and because you are so aware of your own body, you also become very aware of everyone else's bodies in comparison. You begin to worry if your nipple size is the right size. You notice that one of your breasts is larger than the other. Damn the right boob bra gap!  It was also the year I started sleeping a bra because I thought if I held them in the right place I would slow down the sagging process. You find out that some of your friends have clear nipples. Others have hairs around their nipples. You watch girls whose breasts over-developed struggling to run in gym class without getting bashed in the face by her own body. You notice the girls with no breasts and feel sorry for them, but yet,  are viciously jealous of their petite, slim hips and flat stomachs. 

During this time you also are likely to explore your sexuality. Remember second base? When a cute teenage boy would so gently fumble to unlock the clasp of your bra and with the slightest pressure touch your breasts with a completely fascinated expression. As you become sexually active your boyfriends start priding themselves on their ability to unhook your bra one handed and fling it across the room. Breast play also gets a lot rougher. I cannot recall the number of times I felt like my nipples were being ripped from my body or bitten off. This would also be the age when men discovered porn. The longer in a relationship you also notice that  less and less time is spent adoring the very commodity you waited so many years to obtain. I'd like to describe this as "T-Shirt Sex Time". This is when you have sex in your T-Shirt, because taking off your t-shirt, unhooking your bra and caressing your breasts is simply too time consuming. 

Eventually you may have a baby, and finally someone wants to touch your breasts again in the most innocent manner. As you nurse, the baby caresses your breast much like those gentle touches years before and even throwing in a few gummy bites and pulls, but, hey, it's nothing you haven't experienced before. Your breasts begin to change, no longer the full, voluptuous pubescent breasts that once only needed a thin wire to dress them up for the night, suddenly they are stretched and worn and padding comes back into play. Your breasts no longer look up with pride, but have relaxed into a sleepy, "I'm tired and need to lay down position", much like when your baby fell asleep on your breasts in their Baby Bjorn.

In the past thirty-odd years you have gone from having no breasts, to tiny breasts, to full breast, to droopy breasts, but just like you, you have matured and changed and so have your breasts. I stopped sleeping in bras on most nights now. Not because I don't think my theory works, but because it's just damn uncomfortable. Also, just as you embraced tailored pants and fitted jackets over ripped jeans and crop tops, you must embrace your beautiful breasts at their every stage.  They are yours and no matter what they look like they are yours and yours to keep. So love them and adore them, because you'll be hanging out with them for a long time and you never know what may happen in the future.

-Mandi Bridgeman 

Honey, Let's Go Camping and other tales of the Wilderness

Every woman has heard it, "Honey let's go camping"…Some women awkwardly laugh like it is a terrible joke, some simply make a small grunting noise and ignore their partner completely and others for some odd reason start excitedly packing the minute they hear it. When my fiancé Chris asked me I personally went through all the stages of grieving. First, I was in denial, he's not really serious is he? He is not really suggesting I spend my weekend in a tent on the ground, in the mud, is he? A tent which is susceptible to bear penetration.

 Anger and Bargaining

Ok, so I really didn't get angry. I probably skipped the whole anger stage and went directly into bargaining. Wouldn't you rather go to a comedy show and dinner? How about a big steak dinner? A huge steak dinner…I'll buy.  What about we go in a few weeks? It might rain, we should wait to go. Luke Bryan is in town? You love Luke Bryan. We should go see him INSTEAD.

Very soon after my bargaining skills failed I hit stage four….Depression. It's really happening. I'm going camping. How did this happen? Isn't there someone I can call? I feel so trapped and alone. Why? WHY?! 

www.personal.psu.edu

Which eventually led to acceptance, although I did revert to bargaining again just before giving in. 

I packed quickly the morning of the trip throwing random stuff from around the house in a bag. I left behind my …gasp...makeup (which I put on everyday whether or not I leave the house because it makes me feel more put together). I left behind my expensive shampoos, my hairspray, lotions, potions and spells, my blowdryer and my sundresses.  Sigh…my coffee maker, air conditioning, my vehicle, my dog and cat, my computer and all of the other things that I hold dear to my heart and headed off into the wilderness.

The drive through the county to Parker Dam was beautiful with puffy white clouds hanging like overstuffed pillows over pristine farms and rolling mountains. The clouds looked exactly like the overstuffed pillows that I, ironically, was leaving behind. 

We rolled into a pretty little campground full of happy campers doing happy camping things, in their happy camping clothes and I was optimistic. I even began thinking I should have brought my Brownies sash because I would be rolling in new  outdoor achievement patches by the end of the weekend.

So, you pay a fee to rent the "area", which consists of a grassy patch that comes with a complimentary fire pit and a picnic table. Amenities also include large jutting rocks and roots, poison ivy,  stinging and crawling bugs, wild rabid animals and of course extra mud for the ladies.  

The Spot

After setting up it was time to fish! Now, I actually fished quite a bit when I young, so this part was really exciting to me. That was until we had to find "the spot".  Now the park was situated adjacent to a very large lake funneled in from a nearby creek, so I thought "the spot" would be rather easy to find. We started by circling the lake and parking by the beach area. "This was not the spot". Then we drove to where the boat ramp area was. "This was not the spot". Then we parked and walked through the woods   along the edge of the creek in tall snake filled grass, only to realize this "WAS NOT THE SPOT" and we had to turn around and head back. Walking back out of the woods we determined that the mouth of the lake was also "NOT THE SPOT!!!!!". Finally after two hours, we walked back to the truck and I said there was a trail at the top of the hill and determined "that was the spot" basically because I was not going to look for another one. 

Here I am at the "spot", finally 

At the spot we set up our fishing zone. We picked up fishing licenses, so I was determined to catch a trout, however all I caught was a bluegill by the eye. I didn't have a picture, so the one below is an exact replica of the fish that I caught.

Yup, totally the same size

After a couple hours of fishing and snagging another bluegill it was time to head back to camp to cook up some yummy food. Chris was sweet enough to bring me healthy veggie and meat shish kabobs because I had been putting so much time and effort into my diet. We mistakenly forgot to bring tongs, so we had to figure out a makeshift way of removing the food from the super-hot flame-licked grill. Now this is where men and women differ. I chose to use a pair of scissors. Easy, simple and effective. Chris, however, decided on two pieces of sliced wood. Was it more effective then the scissors? No, but I saw that he chose it because it made him more of "mountain man". I said nothing and just sat bemused at his primal wilderness tactics.

Literally, the look on his face…

After dinner and a couple drinks, I was able to get him to slow dance under the stars. One of my favorite memories of the night.  Afterwards, he brought me to the outdoor amphitheater to stargaze. It was probably no more then a quarter mile into the woods, however he did not want me to use my flashlight because he wanted my eyes to adjust to the darkness to see the stars better. 

Here is how I felt at that moment. 

Needless to say, I made it safely down the dark woodsy path (after insisting on using my flashlight). He chose this particular campground because it was in one of the darkest spots in Pennsylvania which meant we could see even more stars then normal. We laid a blanket down on the ground and pointed out stars, satellites, planets, jets and constellations. I was also delighted to see four shooting stars. It was truly the most stars I have ever seen in one place. That was definitely my favorite moments of the weekend…that was until he pointed out an odd glowing red light in the woods which he claimed was Sasquatch …yep, time to go back to camp.

I slept fairly well overnight with no crazy bears, raccoons or other rabid animals disturbing my slumber, but I awoke the next  morning to this in my face. Now, in reality this  darling Daddy Long Legs would do me no harm, however it was magnified because of it's close proximity to my eye causing me to gasp out loud and frantically kick and jump  to get away from it. Oh….camping….and all of its perks.

A few hours after the spidey scare I was ready to fish again. Crawling back down to the now designated "spot", we were surprised to see that at 9:30am we were the only ones fishing. Once again this spot, turned out to not be "the spot", so we decided to travel to a new lake altogether, so we packed up and wished Parker Dam a fond farewell. First, we tried Treasure Lake only to find out it was more like a weird Stepford wives private community in the middle of nowhere than a great fishing spot. After that, we tried Kyle Lake, however our GPS continuously told us to turn around while passing the lake on 79 in both directions, so after off-roading on some country path we gave up and decided to drive to the ever-familiar Moraine State Park. 

ahhhhhhh…my heaven

Did I mention, I love boats and water! I have no complaints about our three hours on the boat, except when we illegally jumped into the water and I badly bruised my foot trying to get back into the boat sans ladder. It was so hot though it was worth it.  I caught two more bluegill, tried once again to catch a trout, practiced using a crank bait, wore flip flops, a bathing suit and got a nice tan, I was in heaven. We finished up with blue Slushies and headed home, but the camping didn't stop there! After watching the U.S. vs Portugal he cooked me Turkey Hot Dogs and made stovetop s'mores! A great end to a pretty great weekend.

Boat time with my beau! 

All and all, I …ahem…had a pretty good time, but don't tell him that because then he will want to take me more often then I would like.  Would I consider myself a camping fanatic? Absolutely not. Would I go again?  Perhaps in a month or…so…. I need to go through the grieving process all over again. The moral of the story it: You gotta do what you gotta do for the one you love…all so you can get a fancy dinner once and awhile.  

I wasn't a Bridezilla until...

www.sheknows.com

So, I'm in full on wedding planning mode and I mean, I could be on the verge of becoming a Bridezilla and I didn't even know it was happening. Here is why...

Setting a Wedding Date

 Ok, so I was like whatever, I'll let the venue choose my date. I thought I was acting completely laid back about the whole thing, right? We initially selected a spring wedding for ample planning time and I digested it fully that I was not getting married in the fall, which I had imagined initially. After a few weeks however, friends, family and countrymen suddenly start convincing me that I should change the date to back to the fall because of pregnancies (theirs' not mine), because of flower availability, because of leaves, because of football season, because of everything. (I love you all, but you did make my mind blow up for a minute).  So, I decided to change the date to this fall, only to say "hold up!" how did I just lose six months!  So now I am left to call everyone back and change everything again…not so laid back now…am I.  Aka…The date will be May 16th, 2015. Bridezilla points 20 out of a possible 100.

The Venue

When I lived in Florida I was all about a beach/destintation wedding. I mean, come on, the beach is practically free and gorgeous and Florida has beautiful weather almost daily, except the occasional hurricane, but now I have returned back to my hometown of Pittsburgh, so my wedding has taken roots in tradition rather than destination. I'm going to admit, I've always been kind of a princess-type and admittedly imagined a wedding in the Omni William Penn ballroom, however due to financial complications (aka lost my job and am now broke), I have fully accepted that this venture is not a possibility. I have moved on selecting the most adorable barn, which honestly, I dream about at night and is just unique enough for my "I have to be different" personality that obtained as a child, but every once and a while I linger at my ballroom dreams.  Now I worry about whether my venue will be comfortable for the fact that is not heated or cooled and having to acquire an extra porta-potty… A porta-potty..lol! Bridezilla points 10.

My old fantasy

My new venue

Just kidding…it looks like this : ) 

Do-It-Yourself 

 Initially, this is a great idea. You are going to make everything by hand and save millions! This is all well and good till you realize one handmade flower can take 20 minutes. Not to mention, I was covered in glue up to my elbows today making my own lantern. It doesn't help my fiancé doesn't understand the DIY aspect. I'm a creative soul! I need to do this…babe, wanna cut out some circles for me! I have a few helpful friends and family members, but it's definitely hard scheduling a get together, understandably. So, I continue cutting and gluing hour after hour and think after all of this I will have a more intimate relationship with my glue gun then with my fiancé. Bridezilla points 10!

The Gown

 I am fully aware that I have champagne tastes on Colt 45 money. I always walk in the least expensive stores (aka TJMaxx) and find the most expensive items just by sight so with my vast knowledge of fine fabrics and exquisite beading and seaming, I thought possibly buying a pre-owned designer gown was the the best bang for my buck however, I still can't wrap my head around buying a pre-owned wedding dress, Vera Wang or not. Just thinking of someone previously wearing it and having just married relations in it or even near it,  getting boob sweat in it and a hemline that has been rolled around in spilled beer gives me the heebie jeebies.  Ewww. And so, my search continues at an affordable price point while trying to get through the many extra tacky, the uber-sequin blinged,  terrible tulle journey…. Bridezilla points 10!

www.jessicalaurenphoto.com

Booking Vendors

 Caterer, Shuttles, DJ, Photographer, Videographer and various other important vendors…There are suggestions and suggestions of those suggestions from outside  sources and really you barely know anything about any of the vendors. I just want them to be booked, the good, the bad and the untalented. I don't care anymore, I just want it signed, sealed and done. Bridezilla points 10!

weddings.thefuntimesguide.com

Bridal Party

 I love so many of my friends and cousins and hate making people mad, really hate it, but I would be all "27 Dresses" if I had all of my closest girlfriends in the wedding. So, making the selection between friends who would be considered automatically included, versus the ones I talk to regularly, versus the ones who might be mad, versus the ones who probably won't be mad, but I still feel bad, versus his relatives, versus my relatives, versus, versus, versus…....Bridezilla Points 10!

cosmogirlwedding.blogspot.com

 Losing weight

 Every bride wants to lose a little weight, including myself, so here  I am trying to eat healthy and exercise, while making phone calls, emailing, visiting, preparing for waist-busting evil cake tastings, oh, yeah, and I'm trying to have that thing called a regular life too. Nothing like a semi-stress eater, stressing while trying to not eat. Bridezilla points 10!

www.smartbrideboutique.com

Here is also a list of things that surprisingly don't bother me at all:  Getting small wedding cake and giving all of you something else, mud being a possible issue, a house being right next to the venue,  having no idea what shoes I will wear, having fancy schmancy hors d'oeuvres and getting married in a town called Irwin. I just have to start thinking like the Honey Badger to get through this whole wedding.  Bridezilla Points -10

And neither do I

I'm already at 70 points of a possible 100 on my Bridezilla scale, so I have to stop before I get ahead of myself.  Although these stresses seem to be overwhelming, I am very happy and excited to be marrying Mr. Pryor. As an event planner by career, I know this is the road which must be driven, that all of my efforts will be rewarded in the end and that I must relax or I may end up on "My 600lb Life" instead of a honeymoon.