And then comes Max in the Baby Carriage....

And then comes Max in the Baby Carriage....


So, I know many have you have been requesting a new blog entry (forever!)  and yes, as much as I wanted to post during my pregnancy, I don't think many would have wanted to read about my constant whining and complaining that would have come along with it.

Of course, I loved pregnancy and thrived through every day of it's nine month journey. Even my husband would agree, I was an absolute delight, a breath of joy in an otherwise dismal day in his life and not at all like those horrible, sobbing, exhausted pregnant women you have heard about in whispers around the Obgyn's office. He would  also say that I am 100% lying about everything I have just said and was pretty much your typical hot mess through the whole experience...but wait! There's more...

I'm not sure what I loved the most about being pregnant. In the beginning, I immediately fell in love with the food aversions which made me dry heave at the very thought of eating as if I had a tiny hair constantly tickling the back of my throat or was being forced to eat a big pile of cardboard covered in dirt.  Perhaps, my adoration for pregnancy stemmed from the constant dizziness and breathlessness, the complete lack of energy, the increasing size of my thighs, stomach, ankles, feet, face, ears, hands and toes or maybe, just maybe it was the repeated nights of vomit that took a direct flight up my esophagus into in my mouth as I slept. It's just so hard to decide what I loved about it the most.

Ok, I know what truly did love the most which is definitely bringing my little man into this world. Yes, it was all worth it (especially because the human body is designed to completely forget about all of this the minute your baby arrives).  I persevered through all of the pregnancy bullshit and brought this wonderful little miracle into this world. It does blow my mind to think this cool little guy was locally grown in one of Western Pennsylvania's most hospitable uterus's and now I get to hang out with him every day.

As time permits, I'll bring you more snippets of my life as Myself filling the roles of Max's mom, Chris's wife and of course just me being me.

_ Mandi

25 Things They Didn't Tell You About Planning Your Wedding

BEHIND THE BRIDE

I'm at sixty days until my wedding and I'm filling you in on the real feelings 

1. Yes, you will want the traditional everything, yes, you will hate yourself for wanting that and then at one point, maybe many years later, you will think it was worth it.

2. You will be so so exhausted that there are points you will want to run away, not from your fiancé, you would probably bring him too, but the daily planning and appointments will get to you at a certain point.

3. It will not work out the way you want. You can dream of something and search and search and search to make that vision come true. It won't. But don't worry you will be so tired you won't care. 

4. Another bride will make it look effortless. And you will hate her for it. 

5. You will scoff at the newly engaged who are all excited and cheery. "Man, they have no idea what's ahead of them" and encourage very small destination weddings.

6. Booking the honeymoon is probably the best day of the whole wedding planning thing. All you can think of is laying in the sun. Wait till a couple months before the wedding to book it and give yourself something to look forward to. You and the wedding will not be on speaking terms by then.  

7. You will feel guilty about everything. People spending money on you. Not being able to have a thousand bridesmaids. The distance people will have to drive. Guilt about everything.

8. You won't lose like 20 lbs before your day. Remember you are the rule, not the exception. You will probably just look like you do now, unless you're a stress eater and you might gain weight. 

9. Matching colors is evil. You have to carry swatches everywhere...just pick black and white. Pure white. Not off-white or Michael Jackson White. Make life easier.

10.Your groom will have an opinion. Whether it's something small or big. You envision it one way and him another, who wins in the end...someone's mother, or grandmother or aunt or not you or him, so quit fighting about it. 

11.  You will realize how many people in one room don't get along when you make your seating chart

12. You wish you would have spent a little extra and splurged on a wedding planner

13. Being engaged for a year is for sheep. Either bust it out in six months or wait a couple of years and enjoy it.  A year is the most inappropriate length of time to plan a wedding. 

14. Standing on the altar for the first time before your wedding is the most exciting, terrifying, surreal moment you can ever imagine.

15. You won't have your nails done for most of your engagement. Ain't nobody got time for that. 

16. All that wonderful time spent together before you get married will probably be spent at home because you can't afford to go out. 

17. You will try on your wedding dress as many times as you can. Because you want to live in it. 

18. You can plan everything down to the minute. Not everyone else lives on your schedule and that will drive you insane.

19. You will not have everyone come. Even those who mean the world to you and you completely understand, but emotionally heart tugging. Eventually, you will get over it and will be pleased at just inviting people who just make you laugh.  

20. You will be ok giving up on things you thought were the most important things in the world six months before. 

21.  You won't be sure if you love anything at all by the end including your dress, your venue, your flowers. You won't be mad about it though either. Let's do this! 

22. You will be part of a strange social media group of fellow financees that you probably haven't spoken to in years and they will make you feel like you are one of them and peaceful.

23. You will cry, freak out and be overly emotional 5,000 times before that day

24. You will be broke....sooo broke

25. You will hate/love/live every minute of it and know deep down that it will be your best day ever. Tornado, Hurricane, Snow Storm, you don't/won't care by the end! It will be the greatest day ever! 

I Loathe the Word Fiancé and Here's Why...

I Loathe the Word Fiance and Here's Why…

Growing up you have heard the word fiancé many times, however it us unknown until you have a "fiancé that you will learn to hate this word.  I am beyond hate at this point, in fact I loathe the word and avoid using the term at all costs. You begin with boyfriend and end with a husband, so why is there this crazy pretencious french identifier in-between? I mean it even has a ostentacious "acute accent" (which your keyboard doesn't always recognize)  above the "e". Even the way it's said, "Fee- ans- sayyyyyyyyyyyyy" sounds completely over-the-top, so why, why is this archaic term still in use?

Photo Credit: www.volleywood.net

Did you know that it even is spelled differently depending on which gender you are speaking about? You use Fiance' to introduce your male counterpart and Fiancee' for female? So not only do you have to use this foreign term to explain your current relationship status, but you also have to understand the French grammar behind it as well? 

According to Merriam Dictionary the origin of fiancee is a "promise" or "trust", which seems like a feasible definition of the word, but why haven't we come up with something a little more practical and less patronizing? Seriously, just saying the term "fiancé" equates the same response as if you were bragging about your summer home in Vale.

Let's look at some (not all) other french words still used in common vernacular

 'A La Mode, Adieu, Amateur, Ape'rtif, Attaché, Art Nouveau, Au Gratin, Au Jus, Baguette, Ballet, Bon Appe'tite, Bon Voyage, Bouquet, Brunette, Bureau, Cache, Cafe Au Lait, Carte Blanche, Chauffer, Clique, Conceirge, Cordon Bleu, Couture, Creme Brûlée, Crepe, Croissant, Decor, Decoupage, Cul De Sac, Demi-Glace, Eau De Toilette, Eclair, En Route, Entree, Excusez Moi, Extrodanaire, Facade, Faux, Flambe, Forte, Grand Prix, Hors D' Oeuvres , Liason, Marde Gras,  Menage A Trois, Montage, Mousse, Omlette, Prarie, Protege, Rapport, Role, Sabotage, Saute, Triage, Venue, Voila. 

With the exceptions of few, most of the words seem pretentious.  For example: 

"My fiancé brought me a bouquet of flowers while I sipped cafe au lait and devoured my sweet creme brûlée"at the corner patisserie.  The decor of the cafe was art nouveau and smelled of fresh crepes, eclairs, baguettes and croissants.  Perhaps later we will have a menage a trois with the brunette en route to dinner:

As you can see this is a pretty stuffy way of saying "my dude met me at Starbucks and brought me some Gerbers while I had coffee and a pastry. For desert we picked up a woman and had a threesome before heading to dinner". 

winterous.deviantart.com

Ok, maybe that whole story was a stretch, but you can see that our most common french words sound a little grandiose.  And with the word fiancé, it's not like you can get around it, perhaps you can say yes, my future husband, or even go old-skool and say my betrothed with a joking nudge, but basically you are stuck saying it, that awful word,  for the duration of your engagement. 

I had the pleasure of sitting next to another fiancee' and noticed that with little effort the word fiancé floated off her tongue as if she had been saying the word her entire life. She had no hesitation in saying it and even the delivery sounded much more American than French like the words toothbrush or stop light. She made it sound so easy, but it's not that easy for everyone. 

When I say it, somehow it seems like I am making some sort of announcement,  I will be meeting my FIANCE in a half an hour! My FIANCEEEEEE is right around the corner! At the same time my face squinches up and my voice rises into this weird pitchy tone because I am horrified that I have to utter the dreadful word once again. Then when the word finally comes out of my mouth, I internally shudder in shame and my face flushes in embarrassment as if I had just defecated in front of a crowd of strangers.  

Perhaps you have seen those "Pretty Girls Making Ugly Faces" photos which have been circling the web. Did you know they are not making the ugly faces on purpose, they are simply trying to say the word fiancé?

All I can think is that I still have months of fiancé introductions before I can finally lay this awful word to rest. In the meantime, I will practice whispering the phrase fiancé and mumbling it under my breath in order to draw as little attention as possible. 

Where my hatred of the word began….

Written by Mandi Bridgeman 

Don't forget to like, share, subscribe and comment! 

Fear the Ring! My Precious!

I’m writing the blog you aren’t supposed to write, but for anyone else out there who may have gotten recently engaged it will be most appreciated.  From that first moment you say yes, you are on some cloud outside earth and it’s literally the only thing you can think about, blissfully, while even ignoring your new fiancé (sorry babe) due to the fact that it really happened. I mean you are really engaged, no seriously, he really got down on one knee, no, he really, really loves you and you really, really love him, and you are really getting married, for real,…no, seriously. And after thinking for years you would be an old maid forever, you have this big shiny ring on your finger is blinking at you like a beautiful star in the solar system that has your name on it. 

 I literally stared at my ring for a week straight. Immediately, I was distracted by this foreign glimmer on my left hand and I had to look at it even while driving, which is by far more distracting than texting behind the wheel, I just had to see it, over and over and over again. I also began meticulously figuring out which angles make it sparkle more and extending my fingers to train myself how to show others while not trying to get the best view of it myself.  

 Don’t even get me started when I had to take it off to swim in the ocean on vacation, I could only stay in the water for five minutes before I had to leave my new fiancé to go check to make sure the ring wasn’t stolen from my bag, even though my friends were watching it from less than a foot away. Yes, I had no idea that my ring would become my new baby, puppy or other semi-precious something that I must watch over continuously or my entire world would implode. 

 But what no one told me is that I would be constantly fearful about this ring.  I agonize that if I leave it on while doing dishes, showering or washing my hands it might get dinged, scratched or a rock might even fall out. At the same time, I am crazy that when it’s off it will somehow roll across the counter, onto the floor, bounce across the tile, open the door, stumble outside and fall into a storm drain disappearing forever.

I know that I can’t let my ring down and now that my pre-ring nail polish now looks absolutely awful, I am left contemplating whether or not I should I shell out the cash to keep getting my fingers pampered for my new shiny, sparkly, newborn baby-angel diamond ring or if I should save the money for my wedding and take off the polish, and go au naturale?  I would like to remind my readers that I have had maybe ten manicures in my entire life and am typically a frugal diva, however, the pressure to give my ring what it wants is undeniable.  

What is this ring and how has it taken over my life? Even so, I love this ring and want to give it everything it deserves. Hey, you only get an engagement ring once, right? Fast forward ten years and I’m sure I will be all brittle nails and bleeding cuticles, so I better treat my ring like the only-child while I still can, right? 

Thank you all for enjoying my pre-wedding OCD and my blog. Many more Mandi moments to come  : ) 

My Precious

The Blog Every 30 and Single Girl Dreams of Writing …Shines Like a Diamond

 Every little girl dreams of the day when she can write a blog to tell the world of the day she got engaged…ok, maybe that's just me, and technically blogs weren't really around when I was a kid, but you get the picture.

Now if you are a Facebook follower you may have noticed that my relationship was not publicly posted, the first reason is he is no longer on Facebook and I, myself,  think that that little relationship status change is cursed for me, so now that things are looking as solid as a diamond ring, it's time to share our story.

Chris and I have known each other for two years, although he asked me out a few times before, the timing was never right. This past October he asked me out again and at first I said no, but then I changed my mind and said yes!

A photo from a year before we started dating

On our first date, we met at Ditkas because he lives in Washington, PA, where I had some scrumptious pork chops. From there we were supposed to go to the drive in to see Carrie because it was Halloween. When we drove up to the field in the middle of the woods and to our surprise there was no one around and the screen was black. So here we are in the middle of a dark field on Halloween, trying to watch a horror movie…There was a split second where I thought this was a setup for a gruesome halloween murder (jk), we realized that the show was cancelled and decided to go to the nearest theater to catch it.

I can't remember why we went on the first date, because the original date he had asked me to was at a Penguins game. So, the next night we cheered the Pens on to victory! Let's go Pens!

And then he sent flowers to work:

And then flowers and chocolate and wine: 

The holidays came right around the corner and we both love Christmas and putting up the tree, so we decided to do it together (even his train). So altogether we put together three trees and Chris put the stars on the two biggest, I put my sloth angel on the smallest.  Chris mentioned that his family really didn't do much for Christmas, which made me sympathize and break my rule of not meeting each others families too soon. Not to mention, I definitely wanted to spend Christmas with him, so I met his family on Christmas Eve (no pressure) and he met mine on Christmas. He would have met some of mine on Christmas eve as well, but due to the Flu-Tuna's (Fortuna's) stomach virus, we decided to skip the party.  It was genuinely the calmest, most relaxing Chris-tmas.

For New Years, we decided to hit the slopes at Seven Springs!  Our only issue was a blinding white out on the north face where we were the only two people in sight within 100ft to the degree that you couldn't see the trees or posted signs ahead of you, luckily after twenty minutes we were able to jet back through the woods to catch a trail back to safety.  Other than that, we had a fabulous time, although I have gotten old and scared of skiing black diamonds (sans alcohol).

I even found it particularly hilarious to take photos with our tiny mallard!

Due to the inclement weather the winter months were spent basically hibernating with lots of video games and movies. Yes, I know, I have an awful car! That darn Miata! Our biggest thrill was trips ice skating followed up with some Bob Evan's and a lil Target shopping. I think, I knew I was in love when shopping for Kitty Litter was a delight.

Yup, winter pictures are so exciting!

With spring comes Chris's birthday. A picture from Dinner!

He loves camping, and I don't want to say I'm an indoor girl, but hiking really…really isn't my thing because I literally hiked up hills everyday in the woods growing up and consider that life*, not fun, but I decided to take him anyway cause that's what you do for the one you love.

*Note: red marker is where I lived. Intersection of Route 908 was my bus stop in high school. Not cool.

 I opted for the rustic cabins, as opposed to the modern cabin, but when we got there it totally had showers and running water, personally I was thrilled. We built a fire, but it was too cold, played some scrabble, but it was too boring and went to bed at 9:30pm. What a birthday! The next day we went hiking and ok, I did like seeing this pretty cool frozen waterfall and crawling through the muck, but don't tell him that. He really enjoyed himself until he got bitten by someone pit bull in the woods. No joke, dog just ran up and chomped his hand, not hard enough to break the skin, but hard enough to bruise. No bueno!

Oh and I let him dress me!

And more flowers: 

Back in January, my friend Michelle's sister Rachel contacted me about filming her wedding in Florida in April. I visit my old stomping grounds each year in April, so of course I was excited to go! Especially because I love my gingas! Chris got very excited at the idea of a vacation and so I invited him along for the ride. Being Chris's first time in Florida I set-up a tour de South Florida for him and in six nights we were to visit Deerfield Beach, Key West, Fort Lauderdale and Boynton.

Ahhh Florida! 

On our first full day we were destined for Key West, Florida! The shot above was where we made a stop along the way to see the beautiful waters!

Double Selfie! 

We got into Key West around 5pm and our goal was to see the sunset. In all of my times visiting, I had never made it to see the view and we ran super close to missing it again, but we made it!

Sunset!

This is his I made it face!

This is his sunset face

This is me looking at his sunset face. 

After the sunset he planned a special dinner at Latitudes where we got to take a boat to the private Sunset Key island. Latitudes by far had the best steak and caesar (with white anchovies…mmm) I had ever had! Seriously what ever was in that sauce, should be bottled and shipped across the country! 

I'm on a boat!

After dinner, he took me on a stroll along the beach where we pointed out constellations and smooched under the stars. Feeling so full from eating I decided to sit down on a beach lounger and he came and joined me.  After a couple minutes he turned to me and told me "I love you very much and I want to be with you forever". Then he stood me up and got down on one knee and asked me to marry him! I, of course, started balling my eyes out unable to utter out a word, so I just shook my head up and down for what seemed to be an appropriate amount of time for a yes. Then he mumbled something about the ring, but I was half in shock and he brought it out and put it on my finger. Then I began to run around in circles crying and saying "I can't see it, I can't see the ring half" crying and laughing. Finally, we made our way up to someone's porch and I got to see it. Kisses and hugs ensued and we went out to celebrate in Key West. 

There were no pictures during this so I have created this re-enactment. 

Seriously, it looked exactly like this.

And he was all...

I was all….

And that's the story folks. I would tell you more, but that is left for him and I. I am so happy to have found the most loving, caring and wonderful man that I get to spend the rest of my life with! He really is the zen to my crazy life and couldn't ask for anything more!

Two days later…. Eating chicken wings in bed.

And that's amore! 

Oh yeah…and one more thing! 

The ring!

So now my blog will take on a new life chapter. Hope you come with me on the ride : )
P.S.  I guess I'll find out who actually reads my blog when I change my status!

Dating Rules: To Pay or Not to Pay

To Pay or Not to Pay

When you first begin dating, I have no question in my mind that men should pick up the first check. Yes, the ritualistic check payment dance should happen, but men should always win the war and grab the tab.

Hey, look he sprung for the Large Fry! 

This is not because you want to take his money and leave him broke, but this is because you are a beautiful, smart woman and he should be ever so grateful to be in your presence. Oh, yeah and also it’s because there is still a significant difference in men’s and women’s salaries. So, I’m just saying, until there is salary equality, we should at least get one free meal. You’re Worth It.  Right?

Just saying….

Once, the first date is over it is time for you to re-assess the situation. My rule of thumb is to always make an offer, even if he pleasantly shoots you down. On your second date you should insist on at least paying for some portion of the date. Say your date buys the passes to the movie, you should offer to pick up the popcorn (although you may want to reconsider that because the actual movie tickets are less than the price of snacks and refreshments). But make an offer, sure, it doesn’t have to be the whole dinner bill, but at least try to pay the tip! He must be a pretty great date if you decided to go out with him again, so don’t be a complete princess, unless of course, he insists.

Better get the Big Bucket! 

Traditionally men are the providers and women are the caregivers but with more women in the workforce, some less traditional men think that all bills and tabs should be split equally.  Women, although you may beg to differ, because we have to spend quite a bit of money on hair products, makeup and clothing to impress their drooling butts and we don’t ask for any retribution.  Oh, and if you’re dating a guy whose hair products are expensive as yours ….run! This guy screams high maintenance. That also goes for his wardrobe, car and other “flashy” items. Whose attention is he trying to get anyway?

http://genyhub.com/metrosexuals-a-thing-of-the-past

So, say this guy is keeper, what happens once you settle into a cozy little love nest, how do you manage expenses? If you are dating a traditionalist, he will continue to pay for anything and everything, so you have to find clever ways to treat him like dinners, sweet notions and great gifts. If you are dating a man hell bent on equality, then divvy it up and if you start worrying about your dwindling bank account use apps like Groupon or Living Social to help cut the costs. And finally, if you find yourself with a guy who is using your wallet like his own personal debit card, cut off his bank account and go out and get wined and dined again, cause a girls gotta eat and she gotta eat well.

Don't be afraid to indulge yourself. 

The PMS Monster

THE PMS Monster

So, yes, every month this evil monster lurches out of the dark, a horrible monster with giant fangs and a grisly, loathsome roar that can strike fear in the hearts of anyone whom crosses it’s path.  This terrifying creature is called the PMS Monster.

No matter whether you are a man, woman or child, you have come across this monster, or the dreaded the catastrophic wrath of a woman experiencing PMS.

  For all of those who have fallen victim to the PMS monster, remember, just like a werewolf on a full moon, it is temporary.  You can’t say you didn’t root on Michael J. Fox’s transformation into a hairy, scary monster basketball player, nor can you say you didn’t empathize with Fiona when she changed from gorgeous princess into the puke-green Ogre in Shrek, so why can’t the world be more on your side during this exasperating time.

Somehow each month due to hormone fluctuations, you transform from beautiful, confident woman into a drooling, growling zombie and even though the changes in your body are ten times harder on you then it is on him, he believes that you have only devised PMS as an evil plot just to make him miserable.

By Diana Zourelias

amazingartbydianaz.com

You just want to say “Yes, I made my body have go completely haywire, just so I could destroy your life.” And as you concentrate all your efforts on trying fight your bodies plunge into a weeks worth of exhaustion, irritability, memory lapses and of course the ever delightful “fat feeling” you get from retaining water, you suddenly realize that he is morphing into a PMS monster himself, but how could that be?

What you are experiencing is the latest in PMS Phonomenons, MALE-PMS. MALE-PMS stands for Male Aggravated Lapse of Empathy Pre-Menstural Syndrome. This medically “un-recognized” phenomenon is when you begin to PMS and you notice his mood and personality begins to change. He starts to act aggravated with the littlest things, he gets moody, he gets irritable because he can’t understand why you are frustrated and argumentative, so he in turn becomes a PMS Monster himself, and it’s all you can do not to fly into a rage screaming “you even had to take my PMS, didn’t you!” 

We have all been there and you are not alone. Many males have MALE-PMS, but since  this syndrome has never actually been researched or called a real illness in any medical periodical it is often misdiagnosed. Men instead are often mis-diagnosed as having the conditions of jerks or assholes instead.  If you believe like I do, maybe we can make that all change change.   MALE-PMS is real (well not-medically speaking) but it really could be and it could be treatable.  

In some actual legitimate medical mumbo-jumbo, I bring you Couvade Syndrome. Couvade syndrome is when a male experiences pregnancy-like symptoms when his partner is expecting.

According to the Mayo Clinic, Couvade Syndrome includes physical symptoms and psychological symptoms, which correlate to their partner’s hormonal changes.

Couvade Syndrome:

•       “Physical symptoms. These symptoms might include nausea, heartburn, abdominal pain, bloating, appetite changes, respiratory problems, toothaches, leg cramps, backaches, and urinary or genital irritations.”

•       “Psychological symptoms. These symptoms might include changes in sleeping patterns, anxiety, depression, reduced libido and restlessness.”

Not Couvade Syndrome, but still quite relevant- Picture Source- people.com

MALE-PMS must be stopped before it gets any worse!  I am not a doctor, but I am in complete belief that MALE-PMS is an illness affecting millions of men and it should be researched further. With a little effort by doctors and researchers, I have the belief that we can relieve men of this syndrome, so we can at least have a week where you will be the one and only monster in the household. Perhaps, maybe, just maybe, doctors will try to put men on hormone regulating birth-control pills (again) to regulate “their” cycles and you can throw your hands up and release all of those little sugar pills into the air!

Now, I’m sure this research will take years of testing before they are actually able to treat it, you know with testing and whatnot, so you will have to both deal with your rather monstrous situation for awhile.  Keep in mind that men are usually oblivious to emotional cues and signs, so unless you have a red signal that lights up at the beginning of PMS, try to give him a gentle forewarning, so he can prepare himself for battle.

Perhaps, an addictive PMS Monster Smart Phone game could be created which men could play to learn how to deal with the PMS Monster. The only way to win is to feed the monster delicious treats, jewelry and massage coupons until she turns back into a gorgeous woman again while he tries to avoid those pesky irritability bubbles, but of course, just like PMS, the next level is even harder! 

 

 http://feminspire.com

Valentine's Day Guide to Free Gifts for Your Guy

Valentine's Day Gift Guide and It's not What you Think:

Remember when you first started dating and you were all gushy and happy and he was all gushy and happy and now you are just going through the daily grind together, well it's time to give him the gift he really wants! Your undivided attention and affection. Now gentlemen this works both ways so please use these sweet gestures towards your woman as well. 

Photo by Florin Garoi

1. Lend Him Your Ears! 

Ok, as women we love to talk and we love to talk about ourselves. It's not our fault! We were bred to gab!  Omg shoes, omg that ignorant woman, omg my mother, OMG! I got poop on my shoes, omg important story that he isn't listening to about the significance of saving the whales, not that I will actually be proactive toward the cause anyways because I'm too busy or will move on to another topic in a day, omg….omg…  Well when you first met him you thought he was so smart and so interesting because you actually listened to what he had to say.  For one whole day, stop talking about yourself or your topics and listen to him, don't interject your opinion, don't phase out when he drones on about sports, gadgets or budget deficits (but if you do and we know you will try to phase back in gracefully without him knowing). 

2. Make him Feel like the King of his own Domain.  Whether it's telling him he is the most masculine hunk of grass-fed, organic beef you have ever seen, laughing at all his jokes (even if they aren't funny, even if you snort) or you can compliment him on how hard his job must be and that he is the smartest guy to ever work there, whatever compliment you feel like he deserves, give it to him and lay it on thick like a nice piece of black labeled bacon. Everyone loves a compliment and if you give a great one it could make his whole day. You did it when you were dating, why not now? 

3. Don't "have a headache" for a whole week. The bitter cold weather, the drudgery of work, endless shopping, cleaning and chores, the baby, the mother-in-law, even your own mother can all play a part in the creation of the infamous anti-intimacy "headache". So instead of crawling back into your comforter cocoon, why don't you steam press those sheets with some loving affection. It may seem like a lot of effort at the moment, but a little intimacy goes a long way and on average doesn't last as long as two commercial breaks that you endured during your favorite TV program. Plus it releases happiness endorphins so maybe you will wake up the next morning with a smile instead of that ever-present scowl at sunrise.

4. Stroll down memory lane. Pull out that old box of pictures or in this day in age, pull up that archived image gallery and glance through pictures that you have taken together before he got bald and you got fat, when you two happy healthy kids in love and talk about the memories that you had made. If you have a wedding DVD pop it in your player and swim through the warm bubble bath of emotions you created that day. Take the time to remember when you first fell in love.

Photo by Mike Lawrey

5.  Reconnect by Unconnecting.  Snuggle with him. Hug Him. Gaze into his eyes. Hold Hands. Turn off the TV your phone and the iPad and all of your gadgets and seriously just let you both be with each other. Yes, we know he may resist, so take it slowly. He's going to be like a baby fighting off a swaddling blanket at first, just keep patience and keep going till he's putty in your arms. Plug into one another (in more ways then one). 



So, the important thing is not to tell him you are actually giving him this gift. It is a gift! You do not need praise or approval for doing it, which is ultimately what you are doing should you choose to tell him that you have read this. So, let's just keep this article a sexy little secret between you and I. Have a great Valentine's Day! And don't forget to share/post this article on your social media pages!