I Loathe the Word Fiancé and Here's Why...

I Loathe the Word Fiance and Here's Why…

Growing up you have heard the word fiancé many times, however it us unknown until you have a "fiancé that you will learn to hate this word.  I am beyond hate at this point, in fact I loathe the word and avoid using the term at all costs. You begin with boyfriend and end with a husband, so why is there this crazy pretencious french identifier in-between? I mean it even has a ostentacious "acute accent" (which your keyboard doesn't always recognize)  above the "e". Even the way it's said, "Fee- ans- sayyyyyyyyyyyyy" sounds completely over-the-top, so why, why is this archaic term still in use?

Photo Credit: www.volleywood.net

Did you know that it even is spelled differently depending on which gender you are speaking about? You use Fiance' to introduce your male counterpart and Fiancee' for female? So not only do you have to use this foreign term to explain your current relationship status, but you also have to understand the French grammar behind it as well? 

According to Merriam Dictionary the origin of fiancee is a "promise" or "trust", which seems like a feasible definition of the word, but why haven't we come up with something a little more practical and less patronizing? Seriously, just saying the term "fiancé" equates the same response as if you were bragging about your summer home in Vale.

Let's look at some (not all) other french words still used in common vernacular

 'A La Mode, Adieu, Amateur, Ape'rtif, Attaché, Art Nouveau, Au Gratin, Au Jus, Baguette, Ballet, Bon Appe'tite, Bon Voyage, Bouquet, Brunette, Bureau, Cache, Cafe Au Lait, Carte Blanche, Chauffer, Clique, Conceirge, Cordon Bleu, Couture, Creme Brûlée, Crepe, Croissant, Decor, Decoupage, Cul De Sac, Demi-Glace, Eau De Toilette, Eclair, En Route, Entree, Excusez Moi, Extrodanaire, Facade, Faux, Flambe, Forte, Grand Prix, Hors D' Oeuvres , Liason, Marde Gras,  Menage A Trois, Montage, Mousse, Omlette, Prarie, Protege, Rapport, Role, Sabotage, Saute, Triage, Venue, Voila. 

With the exceptions of few, most of the words seem pretentious.  For example: 

"My fiancé brought me a bouquet of flowers while I sipped cafe au lait and devoured my sweet creme brûlée"at the corner patisserie.  The decor of the cafe was art nouveau and smelled of fresh crepes, eclairs, baguettes and croissants.  Perhaps later we will have a menage a trois with the brunette en route to dinner:

As you can see this is a pretty stuffy way of saying "my dude met me at Starbucks and brought me some Gerbers while I had coffee and a pastry. For desert we picked up a woman and had a threesome before heading to dinner". 

winterous.deviantart.com

Ok, maybe that whole story was a stretch, but you can see that our most common french words sound a little grandiose.  And with the word fiancé, it's not like you can get around it, perhaps you can say yes, my future husband, or even go old-skool and say my betrothed with a joking nudge, but basically you are stuck saying it, that awful word,  for the duration of your engagement. 

I had the pleasure of sitting next to another fiancee' and noticed that with little effort the word fiancé floated off her tongue as if she had been saying the word her entire life. She had no hesitation in saying it and even the delivery sounded much more American than French like the words toothbrush or stop light. She made it sound so easy, but it's not that easy for everyone. 

When I say it, somehow it seems like I am making some sort of announcement,  I will be meeting my FIANCE in a half an hour! My FIANCEEEEEE is right around the corner! At the same time my face squinches up and my voice rises into this weird pitchy tone because I am horrified that I have to utter the dreadful word once again. Then when the word finally comes out of my mouth, I internally shudder in shame and my face flushes in embarrassment as if I had just defecated in front of a crowd of strangers.  

Perhaps you have seen those "Pretty Girls Making Ugly Faces" photos which have been circling the web. Did you know they are not making the ugly faces on purpose, they are simply trying to say the word fiancé?

All I can think is that I still have months of fiancé introductions before I can finally lay this awful word to rest. In the meantime, I will practice whispering the phrase fiancé and mumbling it under my breath in order to draw as little attention as possible. 

Where my hatred of the word began….

Written by Mandi Bridgeman 

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