The Blog Every 30 and Single Girl Dreams of Writing …Shines Like a Diamond

 Every little girl dreams of the day when she can write a blog to tell the world of the day she got engaged…ok, maybe that's just me, and technically blogs weren't really around when I was a kid, but you get the picture.

Now if you are a Facebook follower you may have noticed that my relationship was not publicly posted, the first reason is he is no longer on Facebook and I, myself,  think that that little relationship status change is cursed for me, so now that things are looking as solid as a diamond ring, it's time to share our story.

Chris and I have known each other for two years, although he asked me out a few times before, the timing was never right. This past October he asked me out again and at first I said no, but then I changed my mind and said yes!

A photo from a year before we started dating

On our first date, we met at Ditkas because he lives in Washington, PA, where I had some scrumptious pork chops. From there we were supposed to go to the drive in to see Carrie because it was Halloween. When we drove up to the field in the middle of the woods and to our surprise there was no one around and the screen was black. So here we are in the middle of a dark field on Halloween, trying to watch a horror movie…There was a split second where I thought this was a setup for a gruesome halloween murder (jk), we realized that the show was cancelled and decided to go to the nearest theater to catch it.

I can't remember why we went on the first date, because the original date he had asked me to was at a Penguins game. So, the next night we cheered the Pens on to victory! Let's go Pens!

And then he sent flowers to work:

And then flowers and chocolate and wine: 

The holidays came right around the corner and we both love Christmas and putting up the tree, so we decided to do it together (even his train). So altogether we put together three trees and Chris put the stars on the two biggest, I put my sloth angel on the smallest.  Chris mentioned that his family really didn't do much for Christmas, which made me sympathize and break my rule of not meeting each others families too soon. Not to mention, I definitely wanted to spend Christmas with him, so I met his family on Christmas Eve (no pressure) and he met mine on Christmas. He would have met some of mine on Christmas eve as well, but due to the Flu-Tuna's (Fortuna's) stomach virus, we decided to skip the party.  It was genuinely the calmest, most relaxing Chris-tmas.

For New Years, we decided to hit the slopes at Seven Springs!  Our only issue was a blinding white out on the north face where we were the only two people in sight within 100ft to the degree that you couldn't see the trees or posted signs ahead of you, luckily after twenty minutes we were able to jet back through the woods to catch a trail back to safety.  Other than that, we had a fabulous time, although I have gotten old and scared of skiing black diamonds (sans alcohol).

I even found it particularly hilarious to take photos with our tiny mallard!

Due to the inclement weather the winter months were spent basically hibernating with lots of video games and movies. Yes, I know, I have an awful car! That darn Miata! Our biggest thrill was trips ice skating followed up with some Bob Evan's and a lil Target shopping. I think, I knew I was in love when shopping for Kitty Litter was a delight.

Yup, winter pictures are so exciting!

With spring comes Chris's birthday. A picture from Dinner!

He loves camping, and I don't want to say I'm an indoor girl, but hiking really…really isn't my thing because I literally hiked up hills everyday in the woods growing up and consider that life*, not fun, but I decided to take him anyway cause that's what you do for the one you love.

*Note: red marker is where I lived. Intersection of Route 908 was my bus stop in high school. Not cool.

 I opted for the rustic cabins, as opposed to the modern cabin, but when we got there it totally had showers and running water, personally I was thrilled. We built a fire, but it was too cold, played some scrabble, but it was too boring and went to bed at 9:30pm. What a birthday! The next day we went hiking and ok, I did like seeing this pretty cool frozen waterfall and crawling through the muck, but don't tell him that. He really enjoyed himself until he got bitten by someone pit bull in the woods. No joke, dog just ran up and chomped his hand, not hard enough to break the skin, but hard enough to bruise. No bueno!

Oh and I let him dress me!

And more flowers: 

Back in January, my friend Michelle's sister Rachel contacted me about filming her wedding in Florida in April. I visit my old stomping grounds each year in April, so of course I was excited to go! Especially because I love my gingas! Chris got very excited at the idea of a vacation and so I invited him along for the ride. Being Chris's first time in Florida I set-up a tour de South Florida for him and in six nights we were to visit Deerfield Beach, Key West, Fort Lauderdale and Boynton.

Ahhh Florida! 

On our first full day we were destined for Key West, Florida! The shot above was where we made a stop along the way to see the beautiful waters!

Double Selfie! 

We got into Key West around 5pm and our goal was to see the sunset. In all of my times visiting, I had never made it to see the view and we ran super close to missing it again, but we made it!

Sunset!

This is his I made it face!

This is his sunset face

This is me looking at his sunset face. 

After the sunset he planned a special dinner at Latitudes where we got to take a boat to the private Sunset Key island. Latitudes by far had the best steak and caesar (with white anchovies…mmm) I had ever had! Seriously what ever was in that sauce, should be bottled and shipped across the country! 

I'm on a boat!

After dinner, he took me on a stroll along the beach where we pointed out constellations and smooched under the stars. Feeling so full from eating I decided to sit down on a beach lounger and he came and joined me.  After a couple minutes he turned to me and told me "I love you very much and I want to be with you forever". Then he stood me up and got down on one knee and asked me to marry him! I, of course, started balling my eyes out unable to utter out a word, so I just shook my head up and down for what seemed to be an appropriate amount of time for a yes. Then he mumbled something about the ring, but I was half in shock and he brought it out and put it on my finger. Then I began to run around in circles crying and saying "I can't see it, I can't see the ring half" crying and laughing. Finally, we made our way up to someone's porch and I got to see it. Kisses and hugs ensued and we went out to celebrate in Key West. 

There were no pictures during this so I have created this re-enactment. 

Seriously, it looked exactly like this.

And he was all...

I was all….

And that's the story folks. I would tell you more, but that is left for him and I. I am so happy to have found the most loving, caring and wonderful man that I get to spend the rest of my life with! He really is the zen to my crazy life and couldn't ask for anything more!

Two days later…. Eating chicken wings in bed.

And that's amore! 

Oh yeah…and one more thing! 

The ring!

So now my blog will take on a new life chapter. Hope you come with me on the ride : )
P.S.  I guess I'll find out who actually reads my blog when I change my status!

The PMS Monster

THE PMS Monster

So, yes, every month this evil monster lurches out of the dark, a horrible monster with giant fangs and a grisly, loathsome roar that can strike fear in the hearts of anyone whom crosses it’s path.  This terrifying creature is called the PMS Monster.

No matter whether you are a man, woman or child, you have come across this monster, or the dreaded the catastrophic wrath of a woman experiencing PMS.

  For all of those who have fallen victim to the PMS monster, remember, just like a werewolf on a full moon, it is temporary.  You can’t say you didn’t root on Michael J. Fox’s transformation into a hairy, scary monster basketball player, nor can you say you didn’t empathize with Fiona when she changed from gorgeous princess into the puke-green Ogre in Shrek, so why can’t the world be more on your side during this exasperating time.

Somehow each month due to hormone fluctuations, you transform from beautiful, confident woman into a drooling, growling zombie and even though the changes in your body are ten times harder on you then it is on him, he believes that you have only devised PMS as an evil plot just to make him miserable.

By Diana Zourelias

amazingartbydianaz.com

You just want to say “Yes, I made my body have go completely haywire, just so I could destroy your life.” And as you concentrate all your efforts on trying fight your bodies plunge into a weeks worth of exhaustion, irritability, memory lapses and of course the ever delightful “fat feeling” you get from retaining water, you suddenly realize that he is morphing into a PMS monster himself, but how could that be?

What you are experiencing is the latest in PMS Phonomenons, MALE-PMS. MALE-PMS stands for Male Aggravated Lapse of Empathy Pre-Menstural Syndrome. This medically “un-recognized” phenomenon is when you begin to PMS and you notice his mood and personality begins to change. He starts to act aggravated with the littlest things, he gets moody, he gets irritable because he can’t understand why you are frustrated and argumentative, so he in turn becomes a PMS Monster himself, and it’s all you can do not to fly into a rage screaming “you even had to take my PMS, didn’t you!” 

We have all been there and you are not alone. Many males have MALE-PMS, but since  this syndrome has never actually been researched or called a real illness in any medical periodical it is often misdiagnosed. Men instead are often mis-diagnosed as having the conditions of jerks or assholes instead.  If you believe like I do, maybe we can make that all change change.   MALE-PMS is real (well not-medically speaking) but it really could be and it could be treatable.  

In some actual legitimate medical mumbo-jumbo, I bring you Couvade Syndrome. Couvade syndrome is when a male experiences pregnancy-like symptoms when his partner is expecting.

According to the Mayo Clinic, Couvade Syndrome includes physical symptoms and psychological symptoms, which correlate to their partner’s hormonal changes.

Couvade Syndrome:

•       “Physical symptoms. These symptoms might include nausea, heartburn, abdominal pain, bloating, appetite changes, respiratory problems, toothaches, leg cramps, backaches, and urinary or genital irritations.”

•       “Psychological symptoms. These symptoms might include changes in sleeping patterns, anxiety, depression, reduced libido and restlessness.”

Not Couvade Syndrome, but still quite relevant- Picture Source- people.com

MALE-PMS must be stopped before it gets any worse!  I am not a doctor, but I am in complete belief that MALE-PMS is an illness affecting millions of men and it should be researched further. With a little effort by doctors and researchers, I have the belief that we can relieve men of this syndrome, so we can at least have a week where you will be the one and only monster in the household. Perhaps, maybe, just maybe, doctors will try to put men on hormone regulating birth-control pills (again) to regulate “their” cycles and you can throw your hands up and release all of those little sugar pills into the air!

Now, I’m sure this research will take years of testing before they are actually able to treat it, you know with testing and whatnot, so you will have to both deal with your rather monstrous situation for awhile.  Keep in mind that men are usually oblivious to emotional cues and signs, so unless you have a red signal that lights up at the beginning of PMS, try to give him a gentle forewarning, so he can prepare himself for battle.

Perhaps, an addictive PMS Monster Smart Phone game could be created which men could play to learn how to deal with the PMS Monster. The only way to win is to feed the monster delicious treats, jewelry and massage coupons until she turns back into a gorgeous woman again while he tries to avoid those pesky irritability bubbles, but of course, just like PMS, the next level is even harder! 

 

 http://feminspire.com

What goes up must come down. Unless it’s a toilet Seat.

What goes up must come down. Unless it's a toilet seat.

We’ve all been there as a woman. You run in the door and straight into the bathroom because you gotta go, when splash, your derriere gets thrust into frigid cold water. That’s right… he left the toilet seat up again.

The premise is easy, lift and go and then return to the starting position. Now many men will argue that putting the seat down is as much a woman’s job as a mans, but seriously guys your stream is like two centimeters wide and the circumference of  a toilet seat is around 8 inches wide.  How is it our fault that you are too lazy to aim and must put the seat up to the expand the width to 12 inches across. I mean do we have to resort back to putting Cheerios in the water?

Perhaps, there is something bigger behind the refusal to put down the seat. Men will  (almost) consistently put the cap on a tube of toothpaste, close a drawer they opened, shut a cabinet door, put the cap back on their deodorant as well as an assortment of other mundane tasks they typically excel at, but not the toilet seat. It is impossible for them to remember to properly set the seat for future use.

So maybe it’s time to look deeper into the men’s psyche to get to the real reason why they refuse to do it. Is it a matter of marking territory, which also includes the floor surrounding the toilet? Is it that during each use of said bowl, they are declaring that this is their zone and it is up to them to decide whether or not their territory should accommodate their mates?

This general territory marking can be seen anytime they have to go whether indoors or out. There is a reason there is a magazine called Field and Stream…because if men find a field they must use their stream to mark it. This doesn’t necessary limit itself to a field, but men can also be found marking their spot in many different locations such as slightly downhill on trail while skiing, on a building outside the bar, in the snow while they create spectacular yellow versions of their name or even in a flower pot leaving your daffodils to wither and die (One of my personal favorites).

So is it wrong for us as women to consistently remind men to put the seat down? Are we trying to stop something nature has deemed as part of the basic existence of being a man? Are we so evil as women to try and change the very nature of the male specimen?! 

Women your answer of course is no.  If you have ever had the delight of plunging that booty that he can’t help but try to pinch, grab and honk on a daily basis into frigid, scummy water …then you know he has to choose...down with the seat or hands off the meat.

When didn't we become Disney Princesses?

Ok, so women grew up watching romance in Disney films, but when did we give in and say it was all a myth. In every Disney film you watch the male protagonists try so valiantly to win a “princess”, by every means possible, case-in-point, the poor beggar trying to win a princess in Aladdin, a man fending off a curse to kiss his Sleeping Beauty and the Tramp trying to win over miss Lady, a Park Avenue elitist, but in this day they won't even hand you the remote.

When I was in my early twenties, I got flowers, dinners, and the whole nine-yards when it came to dating, but in my early thirties it's now a quick mac & cheese and an episode of Duck Dynasty. Not that I don't love having a special, meaningful meal made for me or a hilarious episode of Duck Dynasty to watch while cuddling, but I AM NOT MARRIED YET!

I love comedy clubs, shows, movies, dinners, ice skating, volleyball, bowling, reading, skiing, and so on and so forth...(read my match.com profile for a full list of activities). I want to live a little. I have so much time to stay home in my future, that just like a certain Arabian princess, I want someone to “Show Me the (Damn) World”. It's like men in their late twenties are missing a very necessary step, which is called trying to romance a woman.

Currently, as a single woman in my thirties I have succumbed to “wooing” myself and my friends. We dine, we dance, bowl, go to concerts, see movies and shows, rarely does a guy take the effort to ask what we really want to spend our days doing. Our friends all know, so why aren't we letting them know what makes us “ HAPPY.”

I want to see something I haven't seen, experience something I haven't yet and find someone who helps make life insatiable again. I want to travel the world and try new things which I will do with or without a man, but even better would be finding an amazing guy who wants to see it as well. Get off the couch! All I've ever wanted in my life is a journey and someone who wants to come along with me.

Many of my single friends don't want children, and I differ in that respect , so unfortunately mother-time is quickly going to slow down my parade which I will willingly and gladly accept at the time. In the few years before that happens, I want to explore the world, before I explore the second part of my life as a mother, wife and parent.

Somehow single women in their thirties are failing themselves. We are forgetting traditions, aspirations and ourselves by letting men off the hook. We do this by saying that we don't need excitement and fulfillment and by letting ourselves believe that a hand-hold at a McDonalds's drive-thru is as romantic as a night out on the town at your favorite restaurant, that a man handing you a beer is equivalent to champagne and roses, and the worst, that we don't deserve what we want to feel happy. Ladies...it's time to re-up the anti!

Red Lipstick: A Social Experiment

There seems to be a phenomenon that I discovered in a seemingly innocent way,  a halloween costume.  I decided this past Halloween to be a parisian and to match the red scarf and beret I slicked on some bright red lipstick. Little did I know that this lipstick, all waxy and wonderful, would elevate my dating life to such exorbitant extents.

In the past two weeks alone, I have been asked for my number nine times and had two exes trailing me out of the blue, not to mention a stalker calling me at work and a pop in from a guy during Light up Night. I have done nothing to change my approach, always acting slightly aloof because that's just generally how I am and always a little hard to pin down because of my hectic work schedule.  Honestly after the massacre of last years holiday season with the boyfriend who hated holidays, I'm not particularly looking for anything to destroy my Christmas spirit this season, but I guess a few dates won't hurt. ; )

So, is all of this recent attention because of the holiday season approaching and people don't want to be alone crying into their figgy pudding? Or is it merely because I changed the natural hue of my lips to something of more seductive properties? I have researched several articles in regards to this matter. According to LiveScience, a behavioral study done in France found that waitresses wearing red lipstick got higher amounts of tips when donning the crimson shade. So, maybe I'm not crazy for thinking that this little tinted tube has magical powers.

Red is known to be a color of love and passion, so is this simply making me look like i'm throwing my sexuality down a man's throat? Or is it merely as provocative as a slightly shorter hemline or a peak of cleavage or a pair of leg eating boots? Putting this theory to the test, I have sent a test subject out into the night wearing the dubious red lipstick with confirming results. She claimed wearing the red lipstick worked (exclamation point!) and she reportedly "hypnotized" her ex by wearing the sultry shade.

At ManchesterUniversity, a study tracking eye movements and their role in attraction found that men stared at women with pink lips only 6.7 seconds as opposed to the 7.3 seconds of oogling at women in red lipstick.  So perhaps through wearing my red lipstick, I have finally maximized my pout attraction.

This isn't the first time this phenomenon has occurred. Back in the early 2000's during my Britney phase I had a pink hat and oh, what a wonderful pink hat that was! My friends would grimace each time I wore it because like the red lips it grabbed attention. I could have been picking my nose or my friends nose and guys would still approach me, but that is a study for another day.

At the end of the day, I find my red lipstick fun as well as  empowering! So, I suggest to all ladies out there to give it a try and let me know how it goes. The color can be a little overwhelming at first, but once you accept it looks classic and not clownish you can begin to have a little fun with it.

As for the keepers of my cell phone number, they have easily self-eliminated themselves and I now have complete faith that this will continue to happen till there is one man left standing. I wish I had a buzzer for weeks like this. You live at home with your mom and don't have a job.....BUZZZ. You don't call after saying let's meet up BUZZZZZ. You have bad breath BUZZZZZ..  You are a complete WHACK JOB! BUZZZZZZZZZ





Red Lipstick
http://www.thenews.com.pk/latest-news/5841.htm


Red Lipstick in Science!
http://www.livescience.com/20243-waitress-tips-red-lipstick.html

So, call me maybe? Not if I can help it.

So, back when your were about twenty, there was no way to hold back from the deadly drunk dial. Now, texting has made ignoring your whims even harder. It's not like the person might be sleeping and you would wake them, or their roommate, mother, father or wife or the latter, a text is just a little noise, a little beep or chime, a quick burst of acknowledgment, that can easily be slept through, not to mention a text feels anonymous because you don't actually have to speak to the person out loud. As you grow older, you try to have a little more self-control, especially someone like myself who constantly over thinks everything. So, I have devised some strategies as to avoid calling or texting someone even when your will is failing you.


METHOD 1

The first method can only be used for a short period of time, but if used correctly, you can come across the person who "doesn't care" and "has a life". The person who isn't going to call because "life is just that much better without you". Yeah, right. Now the first method only works if you have not memorized the callers number. So, for those coming out of long term relationships, sorry, you will have to try method two. Cell phones have made this even easier then back in the dialing days. You rarely need to type in a number, therefore, when would you have the opportunity to actually memorize the number? So, take the contact you wish to avoid and simply give it to a trusted friend.

Of course this method should be activated quickly,  most effectively a day to a few weeks after a break up when you are not ready to actually delete the number in its entirety because their is that chance, maybe, possibly, hopefully it could work out, so just give the number from your phone to a friend and delete the contact off your phone immediately. Then not only do you still have the number floating amongst your inner circle, but also you have to completely convince your friend why you need to call or text this person if your desire spikes. It can't just be because you are sad, because you're having a singles panic attack (i.e. when you realize you are single, so any guy, any guy on your phone starts looking like prince charming again), because you found a snotty tissue he once used and you wanted to call to see if he was feeling better three months after you broke up, no stupid, pathetic reasons. Again, this only works if you do not remember the number.

METHOD 2

Now, if you have mentally ingrained the number in your memory there is no use in deleting it. If you do delete it, you will remember it and use it, case closed. So, in method two you keep the number, but change the name. Now you don't change the name to something like "loser" or "asshole" because after a few years of dating you will never remember which guy is which because those generic nicknames will accumulate, so instead you make it a self-reflecting derogatory statement that begins with the first letter of their first name. So, let's say your ex's name is Tom (no I have never dated a Tom, so this is simply an example).

Tom's name could be changed to "Thumb sized jerk, why don't you just clip his toenails for him" or "Totally cheap mamas boy, why don't you invite her into bed too". So, basically you use things that really annoyed you about the person and remind yourself why you are being completely foolish in calling or texting that person. Plus, it always helps to laugh on their behalf when you look their name up.

Other Examples:

Jim- Jackass 3am caller who never once has been seen in daylight

Bob- Butt-face who only dates you between other girls

Carl- Claustrophobic, close-talker who you've dumped four times

Dean- Designated disaster-case who weeps like a little girl

Steve- Sorry excuse for a man, who slept with your ex-best friend

So, here are two methods to stop yourself from contacting that guy you just can't help yourself around. I would like to say this method doesn't have some failures. Like when you erase the number and give it to a friend, but somehow you managed to memorize it in the 30 seconds it took for them to enter it in their phone or that despite the derogatory connotation, you still wanted to expose yourself to another disappointing answer or complete diss. But then again this method has worked for myself and my friends in the past. So, try it and let me know if it works for you.