What goes up must come down. Unless it’s a toilet Seat.

What goes up must come down. Unless it's a toilet seat.

We’ve all been there as a woman. You run in the door and straight into the bathroom because you gotta go, when splash, your derriere gets thrust into frigid cold water. That’s right… he left the toilet seat up again.

The premise is easy, lift and go and then return to the starting position. Now many men will argue that putting the seat down is as much a woman’s job as a mans, but seriously guys your stream is like two centimeters wide and the circumference of  a toilet seat is around 8 inches wide.  How is it our fault that you are too lazy to aim and must put the seat up to the expand the width to 12 inches across. I mean do we have to resort back to putting Cheerios in the water?

Perhaps, there is something bigger behind the refusal to put down the seat. Men will  (almost) consistently put the cap on a tube of toothpaste, close a drawer they opened, shut a cabinet door, put the cap back on their deodorant as well as an assortment of other mundane tasks they typically excel at, but not the toilet seat. It is impossible for them to remember to properly set the seat for future use.

So maybe it’s time to look deeper into the men’s psyche to get to the real reason why they refuse to do it. Is it a matter of marking territory, which also includes the floor surrounding the toilet? Is it that during each use of said bowl, they are declaring that this is their zone and it is up to them to decide whether or not their territory should accommodate their mates?

This general territory marking can be seen anytime they have to go whether indoors or out. There is a reason there is a magazine called Field and Stream…because if men find a field they must use their stream to mark it. This doesn’t necessary limit itself to a field, but men can also be found marking their spot in many different locations such as slightly downhill on trail while skiing, on a building outside the bar, in the snow while they create spectacular yellow versions of their name or even in a flower pot leaving your daffodils to wither and die (One of my personal favorites).

So is it wrong for us as women to consistently remind men to put the seat down? Are we trying to stop something nature has deemed as part of the basic existence of being a man? Are we so evil as women to try and change the very nature of the male specimen?! 

Women your answer of course is no.  If you have ever had the delight of plunging that booty that he can’t help but try to pinch, grab and honk on a daily basis into frigid, scummy water …then you know he has to choose...down with the seat or hands off the meat.