Men vs. Boys

Let's talk about boys vs men. Men will approach you and say in a very stern voice, hello, my name is “Your Next Boyfriend”, I have many leather bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany, may I inquire if I can escort you about town. Ok, maybe, the Anchorman reference doesn't exactly work, but the point is you have a direct approach without any pussy-footin' around. Do not pass a note, phone a friend or use some kind of social media to make it happen, just ask and ask it like you mean it. Now, we know you are nervous and that you may botch it, but go outside first, beat your chest like an ape, pee in some patch of grass, get into a fight with the next guy who talks to you ,whatever it takes to get you confident. Because confidence is a turn on. Remember if you are over the age of 18 you ARE A MAN, we all know you are, so let's see it.

We know that 99% of you are not the suave, confident guy who can ask a girl out without batting an eyelash. It's nerve wracking, terrifying and rejection is the worst, but honestly that is the worst that could happen. Yes, it sucks but there are literally a billion other fish in the sea and they are being caught by fisherman, like yourself, everyday. So why not just go for it with all the gusto.

When a woman is into a guy, she immediately retreats into being a coy and giggly girly girl whether she likes it or not, laugh, touch your arm or twirl her hair (just part of our genetic makeup), whereas men you are genetically made up to be blunt and black-and-white in nature. So you just need to stand up tall, say I am man, you woman, we go now and pull you by the hair into a relationship. So, maybe don't go full on caveman, she may not exactly like the hair pulling, some might, but she may not, but the point is that women want a man, we are not (all) lesbians so quit trying to pick us up by using our own tricks. We know exactly what you are thinking when you do this. We want a little mystery.

Now truth be told, more women are starting to wear the pants when it comes to approaching a guy. I have actually went right up to a guy I didn't know, chatted him up for a few minutes and said “why haven't you asked for my number yet?, I've slipped guys my number on more than one occasion and so on and so forth, because I just couldn't stand waiting around one more minute to secure your number. This is a good thing and yes, I am into you. Obviously. This does not happen all the time, so please men take this as a phenomenon instead of a way out of asking.

Now, when in a relationship, a man can make a woman literally fall in love with you just by sitting there. We don't understand you at all. Nope, not never, you are mind blowingly different creatures. So, just the mystery of you being a man is reason enough. Playing games is immature and once a woman hits her late twenties it makes us run away. In your late twenties and thirties women just want to relax and feel like her man is there for her, supports her and respects her. We have done the games so many times before. True each game a guy plays makes us a little crazy, puts us on the edge of our seat, and at first that can lead to an extra heaping of emotions, but we also start realizing that stress and anxiety are taking over our ability to fall in love with you.

Understandably many men are not aware what they are even doing, but there are even more who get a kick out of driving women crazy because young or dumb girls fall for it. For example, Rihanna, she isn't in love with Chris Brown, she's in love with the drama and anxiety and is severely confusing those feelings for passion. Then again she's too young to realize the difference between lust and love. Stop it girls, anxiety is not love! Love is mutual respect and support.

Women you also have to do something which is quit falling to smithereens when you start dating a guy. Yes, he is soooo cute and soooo wonderful, but treat him as your equal and not your savior. You are smart, intelligent and have made it this far without him. Not to mention, you barely know this person. I know it's hard, but keep up your day job, have a life and for goodness sakes, if he's not treating you as well as you are him address it, chop it off and leave it behind...sorry, just wanted all the men who read this to cringe a little bit at that last line.

So yep...let me know if you agree, disagree. Don't worry I can take it like a man ; )