Ok, so women grew up watching romance
in Disney films, but when did we give in and say it was all a myth.
In every Disney film you watch the male protagonists try so valiantly
to win a “princess”, by every means possible, case-in-point, the
poor beggar trying to win a princess in Aladdin, a man fending off a
curse to kiss his Sleeping Beauty and the Tramp trying to win over
miss Lady, a Park Avenue elitist, but in this day they won't even
hand you the remote.
When I was in my early twenties, I got
flowers, dinners, and the whole nine-yards when it came to dating,
but in my early thirties it's now a quick mac & cheese and an
episode of Duck Dynasty. Not that I don't love having a special,
meaningful meal made for me or a hilarious episode of Duck Dynasty to
watch while cuddling, but I AM NOT MARRIED YET!
I love comedy clubs, shows, movies,
dinners, ice skating, volleyball, bowling, reading, skiing, and so on
and so forth...(read my match.com profile for a full list of
activities). I want to live a little. I have so much time to stay
home in my future, that just like a certain Arabian princess, I want
someone to “Show Me the (Damn) World”. It's like men in their
late twenties are missing a very necessary step, which is called
trying to romance a woman.
Currently, as a single woman in my
thirties I have succumbed to “wooing” myself and my friends. We
dine, we dance, bowl, go to concerts, see movies and shows, rarely
does a guy take the effort to ask what we really want to spend our
days doing. Our friends all know, so why aren't we letting them know
what makes us “ HAPPY.”
I want to see something I haven't seen,
experience something I haven't yet and find someone who helps make
life insatiable again. I want to travel the world and try new things
which I will do with or without a man, but even better would be
finding an amazing guy who wants to see it as well. Get off the
couch! All I've ever wanted in my life is a journey and someone who
wants to come along with me.
Many of my single friends don't want
children, and I differ in that respect , so unfortunately mother-time
is quickly going to slow down my parade which I will willingly and
gladly accept at the time. In the few years before that happens, I
want to explore the world, before I explore the second part of my
life as a mother, wife and parent.
Somehow single women in their thirties
are failing themselves. We are forgetting traditions, aspirations and
ourselves by letting men off the hook. We do this by saying that we
don't need excitement and fulfillment and by letting ourselves
believe that a hand-hold at a McDonalds's drive-thru is as romantic
as a night out on the town at your favorite restaurant, that a man
handing you a beer is equivalent to champagne and roses, and the
worst, that we don't deserve what we want
to feel happy. Ladies...it's time to re-up the anti!
Mandi,
ReplyDeleteYou said “somehow single women are failing themselves. We are forgetting traditions, aspirations and ourselves by letting men off the hook”, in reality women are settling. Women settle because they are willing to sacrifice their happiness to hold onto something they really don’t want out of fear. Women are not the only ones who are settling. It is the nature of society today, for both men and women to settle instead of putting our fears aside to chase our dreams, to live the life we want.
We fear being rejected, so we find a reason to reject the other person first. We fear being a lone so we settle for someone, a relationship which is “good enough” because the known feeling of disappointment of a “good enough” relationship is easier to bear then the feeling of being alone. We fear getting hurt, so we sacrifice our happiness; our dreams by not letting anyone get close.
Settling, sacrificing out of fear is something we have all witnessed, lived. How many countless times have each of us asked our partner what would they like to do tonight? Where would they like to go? To get the response “I’m fine with whatever you want”. A great example, a few months back I started to date a woman who would keeping telling me how she wanted to travel, to see new places, have new experiences. I was getting burned out from work and needed a break. I had a couple weeks off of work at the end of the year. I told her to pick any destination in the world, we would take a vacation anywhere she desired, do whatever she wanted. Her reply, “I’m good with whatever, you pick”. In front of her was the opportunity to fulfill a lifelong dream, instead of fulfilling the dream she chose “I’m good with whatever, you pick”, she was willing to settle instead of living out her dream.
If someone is not happy with their life they need to stop settling, chase their dreams and desires. They need to live the life they want. Once you stop settling, get rid of “good enough” then you can find the happiness you seek. Well that’s my 2cents.
Jason
Well said Jason. Well said. : )
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