The Nameless Wonder

So, there is a point in which I have been pondering over the past few weeks and it has been brought to a head. How do I tell the guy I'm dating...hey, I've been blogging about our past few weeks while getting to know you. Now, I have been dating for say 15 years and I know that dating is difficult, in fact, sometimes quite challenging, so how could I have known that it would actually get to this point with Mr. Match.

My original intentions for this blog, was to show the process of dating on Match.com, not expecting that it would work out (for now) with the first guy I meet up with. Even at this point, there is no definition to our relationship specifically, but things are beginning to take action. Most obviously is daily interactions, dates planned weeks in advance and the time we spend together doubling. So, now do I discontinue the blog and never mention it to him or do I fess up to the blog hoping it isn't an issue and continue keeping my readers entertained?

I know I have already made a decision which is to tell him about the blog, just because "honesty is almost always the best policy, almost always." How do you even bring that up "So, darling, honey bunches of oats, schmooky, jif peanut butter heart on toast, I have been discussing our dating with 700 of my closest friends. Hmmm. Well the good thing is that he is a writer as well, so maybe he will understand the need for me to broadcast my creative voice. Or he could just feel stark naked in a sea of overexposure.

One good thing is that the publicity has been good for him on his part. No weird nostrils or third nipples, no underdeveloped pinky toe or fascinations with cotton balls. The nameless wonder from match.com isn't half bad. Well it's time to make a decision! Please feel free to help me approach the subject. Advice always appreciated : )

My Life in Florida vs. Yinzer Family Vacation!

Courtesy of : http://www.littlenummies.net/

The Return of Purple Panda

   So, I'm sure you are all wondering how my date went with Mr. Match. Well, our original date was re-scheduled due to an unfortunate circumstance, so we ended up seeing Jazz at the James Street Gastropub and Speakeasy in North Side this past Thursday.

  So, somehow when I first got to James Street the topic of the Purple Panda came up. Now, if you don't know anything about the Purple Panda incident, it is a viral You Tube video featuring Mr. McFeely, twenty-five screaming, hysterical children and of course a purple panda. As the story goes, Mr. McFeely and the purple panda visited a day care or preschool a few months ago and had a very bad day. Where is Mr. Rogers when you need him? So, it seems that one particular little girl in attendance was terrified of costumed characters, much like my fear of the furries, so when the purple panda walked in she began to cry and all of the other children in the class got immediately scared and cried as well. Let the chaos begin.

 The reason this story is relevant is because I work at a cartoon art museum at the time we were preparing to bring Mr. McFeely to the Chicago Comic Con as a guest speaker just as the video went viral. Mr. McFeely was mortified over the incident and almost cancelled his trip. So, for a few days, the atmosphere at the museum was full on panic.

  Well it just so happens, that my date, was the one who taped the segment for his newspaper and posted it to the web. It seems that it was the poor guys first week on the job and he never in a million years thought that the video would go viral, but that's I guess why it's called viral in the first place. How ironic is it that only months before this guy I just met had a very strange impact on my work life.

Now back to the date itself. I am all for a swanky, jazz club date. The singer on stage sang breathy versions of everything from Kayne West, to Shade, to Oasis. We talked about his youth as a nerdy orchestra player and I revealed one of my most highly hidden (well not anymore) secrets and that is my passion and adoration for Reba McIntyre. Reba! Yeah, the show too, which admittedly is pretty awful, but I love Reba. We ended up heading out to my favorite pub for a night cap after the show where he sang me bad 80's music, so I consider us even.

1 Week Later

So, Mr. Match and I have been on five dates, well three dates and two hang outs total. I drove to the middle of nowhere for dinner, literally an hour away. Seriously, why do all the guys I date have to live so far away?! But, I was very excited that he decided to cook me dinner and oh what a bachelor pad he has. I say this after I sat on his exercise bike in his kitchen while he cooked. So, dinner was great, other than the caper berry I tried (I like regular capers, but this was disgusting, but that is neither here, nor there). I just was ecstatic that I was being cooked a meal by a guy! How wonderful!

So we watched a movie and after the movie he flipped on comedy central and a show, unfamiliar to myself was on called Metocapolyse, or something like that. The cartoon was about a group of hard core rockers and they play hard rock anytime any one swears...What a guys show. Anyway, in the middle of the show the characters suddenly started screaming in a loud booming voice " MARRIAGE IS AWFUL, DON'T EVER DO IT, 2 YEARS AND YOU WILL BE DIVORCED, WOMEN ARE THE DEVIL....and on and on for at least five minutes. Now, I am not running to the altar. Trust me on that, but geez, it was the most awkward five minutes of my life. I am still shaking my head over that moment. And don't even get me started on the Comedy Central Show that we watched later where babies heads were being eaten.

So, despite the awkwardness of the moment, the date went well and we have hung out a couple times since relishing the fact that we have a similar love for peanut butter and jelly, but peanut butter without jelly or jelly without peanut butter, and peanut butter toast in the morning is the shit! Also, that both our mother's used to swirl a heart on our open-faced peanut butter sandwiches as kids. We also have a passion for turners (sorry to my uncle), but their ice tea is phenomenal. And I won't bore you with more details of our mutual product endorsements.

So, all looks well on the romance end of things. I will try to post again soon. He is out of town for the weekend, so it may not be till next week for an update. : )

 

The Bookcase

The Bookcase

So, before I get you updated on my dating life. I have to tell you about "The Bookcase". For the past four years, I have had a bookcase in my living room. "The Bookcase" is a tall, mahogany colored bookcase (ok, maybe espresso, I have no idea at this point) that my brother bought me for my 27th birthday. There is one major thing that stands out about "The Bookcase", it has never been put together.

Why, you ask? Because the bookcase needs two people to put it together and not one "man" I have dated has ever offered to help me even after not-so-subtle hints. The "X's" have sat in my living room hundreds of times watching television, eating my delicious cuisines and viewing movies, but never even mentioned the infamous "Bookcase." It was like they knew...

The Story of the Book Case:

 So, when I received the bookcase I was 27, I was still living in Florida and boyfriend after boyfriend has seen it sitting propped up in my living room in its original brown cardboard box, but yet not one has said "Hey, Mandi, why don't we put that thing together". When I decided to move from Florida, I simply wrote my name on the box and shipped it up to Pittsburgh, where now it still sits like a bad omen in my living room for the past year and a half (and ahm ahm two boyfriends later).

The Omen:

So my mother has declared that the "man I will marry" will put this bookcase together (yeah, no pressure or anything). So, as you can see there is a jinx, a curse and an omen on the bookcase. I won't even touch the sucker at this point. Half because of superstition and the other half because if I put it together myself will I never meet the "one?"Lol. Sounds silly, ok, it's completely ridiculous, but it's only because of the fact that now it sits there ...all book-less and forlorn staring me down from the corner of my room.

Now considering I read around 12 to 15 novels a year and I'm not a Nook-type girl, my books are really starting to get ticked off. They keep crying to me that they are all strewn about on chairs and shelves despite the fact that a seven-floored mansion awaits them.  Agh, the pressure. Just saying. Damn that Damn bookcase.

Who knew that a bookshelf could cause so much drama.




Next up in "Life in Her Shoes"

As for keeping you "up-to-date". Date number two was postponed due to unforeseen circumstances. I am set to see Mr. Match again on Thursday. So, please 'follow" my new blog and wait and see what happens next.

~ Mandi

Match.com First Guy, First Date!

So, I begin this blog, as a new member, ok a renewed member of match.com looking for love a little too late (according to the standard by laws of the suburban Pittsburgh culture). Last night, I went on a date with a 28 year-old journalist. We traveled to the Silk Elephant in Squirrel Hill for Tapas. 

Now, I know that looks may certainly be deceiving, but his profile had several which showed his face, so I felt like he would certainly be attractive. I had to walk past a large window to walk in and I made sure to gaze down because I could feel his eyes check me over from inside the room before I even had a chance to walk through the doors. I really wished at this point that I didn't know the set-up of the restaurant before I walked through the door. 

Still, it is quite relieving to meet someone on a semi-blind date that fits the description you concocted in your head. Phew...much to my relief. So, on my own sub-conscious check list, I made a mark that he was not at all hard on the eyes. Now, I thought, let's keep our fingers crossed for personality. 

 Now the restaurant was basically empty, but the hostess decided to sit us at a tiny two top which was basically on-top of the only couple in the restaurant near us and they were speaking a foreign language and staring at us. Being in the uber polite, stranger, i'm going to try and impress the heck out of you phase of the night, I decided not to make a crass remark which I would typically make. 

So, we ordered a bottle of wine, which by the way is one amazing invention which certainly is the best alcoholic beverage to order on a date because it gives you a warm, fuzzy, comfortable buzz. Then we proceeded to order one tapas at a time. Like a "taste test of tapas" as we got to know one another. 

The conversation flowed back and forth easily, thank goodness, and we quickly learned about one anothers history and life perspectives. We began easing up around each other, with the occasional nervous knock of a plate. Eventually, we discussed the learning couple next to us and he believed they spoke german, I thought french, they mumbled a lot. I also gave my friends waiting at home the occasional updated text on how he was cute and had a great personality ect...because i'm a woman and that's what we do.

So, dinner wrapped up and we decided to grab a beer at the local bar and catch the end of the hockey game. That's when the hair came down and we could start to really be ourselves. He gave me a quick peck on the cheek sometime between sips and bathroom breaks and he mentioned hanging out again soon, we rested on seeing Prometheus because of his affection for sci-fi and my adoration for scary movies, but it seems he couldn't wait because he will be attending a concert with me tomorrow. There was also some mention of a wedding he doesn't want to go stag to in the Dominican Republic, but that is months away. I guess he was just flirting with the idea. 

The date concluded with him walking me to my car and holding my hand along the way, with a sensual but soft open mouthed kiss under the stars. I feel like you should always add that you were under the stars to make it seem a little more romantic. Good kisser, check! Yes, women constantly makes lists in their minds just in case you were wondering.  Well, we will see how date number two goes.  I guess match.com isn't such a bad idea after all. 

She's Thirty and Single..Gasp!

So, I can't believe you know! That I am thirty and single..gasp! I'm not going to be one of those girls who go around saying "It's awesome" and "everyone else will be getting divorced when I get married" because that isn't the truth. The truth is..it kinda makes you feel...well...singled out.

I lived in Florida for the majority of my twenties, where it is completely acceptable not to be married with kids in your twenties, but upon moving back to Pittsburgh, I got a big dose of reality or pseudo-reality. Everyone, and I mean, everyone, is married and beginning to have babies. It may be true that some day I will find it vindicating if some friends (in other words the ones who shoved their happiness down my throat, or ignore your birthdays because they are so busy with their children) are going through their divorce when I am blissfully walking down the aisle, but as for now I am a slightly bitter Betty.

Granted, I took some time off of trying to live happily ever after with the "one" because in Florida staying youthful means not picking your children up from daycare while juggling laundry lists, bills and the other life necessities of a "mommy". Instead it meant, hopping on the biggest boat you could find, basking in the sunlight by the beach, wearing the most fabulous clothing while getting to know an interesting array of people. Yes, it was awful.

But...sigh...there comes a time when you decide to hang up the bikini and move to a place that you consider has a great education system, cheap housing and ample yards while sadly dragging your Shark Steam mop behind you. Not that I don't love being home and having scintillating conversation that doesn't involve the value of a car, the expense of a house and how awesome your weekend was in Miami.

So, here I am, thirty and single and living in the Burgh. Wish me luck.